Why would you want to ask for help? The simplest answer is that there is a goal that you would like to achieve that is seemingly elusive, right now; you may or may not have an idea of what is getting in your way.
What goal do you have that seems to be eluding you? Would you be willing to ask for help if doing so would increase the possibility that your dream could become a reality?
You may be in the dreaming stages about something that you would like to make real or you may:
- be in the stages of thinking about concrete steps.
- have taken a step or several and are stumped as to what to do next.
- have taken a few missteps and now believe that the goal is out of reach.
- have tried to reach the goal and been unsuccessful.
Wherever you are in thinking about or attempting your goals, you cannot do it alone. That is right, you need help. You do not need help because you have ADHD. You need help because you are human, not super human. Ok, maybe you are, but most of us are just mere mortals. We have areas of strengths and weaknesses.
Many with ADHD, after having suffered, perhaps, years of shame from failed accomplishments are reticent to ask for help. Some of us have come to believe that we are not capable of reaching our goal(s) and so we give up, at times prematurely. Others do not want to ask for help, as they do not want to be seen as less than.
Does this resonate with you? If it does, please take some time to reflect on and answer the following questions.
- What is getting in the way of taking the next step toward reaching your goals? More specifically, what particular tasks are challenging for you?
- In what ways may your perspective(s) about asking for help in areas that challenge you be holding you back from reaching or even acting on your goals?
- How would it help you to reach your goals, if you acknowledged that you need help in these areas?
The story below illustrates the advantage of exercising that weak muscle that many of us with ADHD have, asking for help. If you work on strengthening this muscle, take some time to imagine what would be possible with a little help from your friends, family or hired professional(s). Hmmm.
A little boy was having difficulty lifting a heavy stone.
His father came along just then.
Noting the boy's failure, he asked, Are you using all your strength?
Yes, I am, the little boy said impatiently.
No, you are not, the father answered. I am right here just waiting, and you have not asked me to help you.
- Annonymous
For those of you who may be considering that you could use some help, I have an assignment for you. Write down all of the tasks involved in reaching your goals that you find challenging. Be as specific as possible.
Marla is a Certified Professional AD/HD Coach. The focus of her private practice, Cummins Coaching and Training, is providing AD/HD Coaching, training and resources for college students and adults with ADD - AD/HD. She also speaks on topics related to AD/HD.
Visit http://www.marlacummins.com to request your complimentary newsletter, "ADDed Perspective," filled with strategies and tools to help you live more effectively with AD/HD.
Share your comments on her blog, "ADDed Perspective," http://marlacummins.com/wordpress/
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