I can bring you to the door, but you have to walk through.
Jean-Paul Vadnais
Standing in the doorway, I felt the door close, and was instantly alone. How did I get here, in this room? ...In this prison?
The door, solid steel with a 12 inch square barred window, did nothing to blot out the sound of the other people around me, but it was complete in sealing me off from the rest of the world.
The room I was imprisoned in was surprisingly small. Standing in the middle and reaching out my hands, I touched both grimy, graffiti covered brick walls. "R.H. was here" one etching said. Another a little more cold, scratched into the face of the painted brick said "you'll never take me alive". And another one, seemingly out of place in this dark, cold hole in the wall said, "for a good time call 897 3733"
Hanging from a bare wire in the 10 foot ceiling, a small incandescent light bulb burned hotly: My only sun on this cold, dark night.
Folded up into the wall was a cot with a two inch thick mattress that was built, not for comfort, but almost as another kind of torture. How was a person supposed to be comfortable sleeping on this? I suppose, comfort wasn't in the minds of the designer.
"Lights out" I heard from a speaker in the ceiling, and 10 seconds later, everything went black.
I had a sudden impulse to scream, to shout out "Let me out! Please let me out!", but it was no use. Who would hear me? Who would come to my rescue? Who would care?
I was alone with nothing but my thoughts and the imagined ghosts of past occupants to keep me company. Growing louder with each passing second, these ghosts of the past silently spoke to me, and aroused my deepest fears of being in a closed space with no way out.
Then, a wave of comfort and current reality came flooding back into my consciousness. I was in prison, but not really "IN" prison. I was in a youth hostel in Montreal that was an old jail, and the sleeping rooms were old cells. The door that was closed, was not locked from the outside, it was locked, by me, on the inside., and I could leave whenever I wanted to.
It took me a few minutes to calm down, but, getting my thoughts in order, I unhitched the bed from the wall, crawled in and went to sleep.
In a larger way, many of us live our lives similar to this experience, except the prison cell is our own thoughts, our own attitudes, our own habits, our own beliefs or our own opinions... and we willingly enter into it by the choices we make. Then we shut the door and lock it...from the inside.
We choose our fears. They don't choose us.
And then we give them life by nurturing and sculpting them into something unknown which creates a great amount of panic and closes us out from the reality of it ever happening anywhere else... except in our own minds.
We close the door on reality and stand in the creative silence of our minds and imagine the worst, never realizing that the possibility of what we imagine happening will never come to be.
That is how debilitating fear can be. It takes hold of our imaginations and consumes us.
It is a personal thing, and will continue to be that way until you stop trying to solve it on your own, and open the door of your mind so you can get a different perspective.
But...You must turn the key.
You must snatch hold of the door and drag it open.
You must take the first step.
You must shut the door behind you.
Do you find yourself in a stressful situation or job where the simple thought of escaping consumes your thoughts? What is keeping you there? You are...no-one else. Don't try to blame someone or something else for your fears, I know, I've done that. It doesn't work.
You hold the key. You are your own gatekeeper. You can choose to stay in that room of doubts and fears, or you can step past it into a brighter hallway that leads to your goals and desires, but to step out takes courage; courage you may not at that moment have.
How do you make the first step you ask? Simple... you take it... any kind of step towards the fear. You must look it in the eye and say, "I am not afraid of you, you hold no power over me. Others have faced you and triumphed, and I will too!" You seek help... you phone a friend... you just do something. You must interrupt your current pattern of thinking and create little successes along the way. Look for one small victory at a time, and then, after a period of time, it will no longer be an issue. You will have escaped right under the nose of the watcher.
This week, instead of looking out at the world through the barred doors of your fears, dig the key out of your pocket, and release the lock. Kick the door out and run. Run towards the safe-house of courage and confidence and craft for yourself the life you desire, sans fear, sans anxiety sans regret.
Make this your best week ever.
2008 Paul Kearley CS, For 22 years, Paul Kearley has thrived in the personal development and coaching business. As a Master Business Coach, Paul's passion is in developing and creating increased potential, and coaching people to create success.
A newspaper columnist, and editor for "E-Motion", his own weekly ezine, and author of 3 e-books, Paul writes articles that address the everyday challenges we all have and face in life and in business, and offers suggestions for success.
If you'd like to connect with Paul to discuss your personal or business strategies or to subscribe to "E-Motion" , simply visit http://www.mustthinking.com or send an e-mail to carnegie@nbnet.nb.ca
Visit http://www.mustthinking.com to review and purchase my NEW E-Book MUST Thinking: An easy four step guide for creating the results you want"
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